Posted May 27, 2009
Phipps Given Probation for Ill- Advised 911 Call

A Berks County judge issued Team Flop member John Phipps a stern warning and a $200 fine after he made an ill-advised 911 call during last year’s Lebber Cup.  Judge Kaddick admonished Phipps for his misuse of government resources after playing the embarrassing call in front of a courtroom:

911 Operator:  911 How can I help you?

Phipps: Yes Operator, I have a six footer on the first hole at, hold on operator, yo Jimmy, where the hell are we again? 

Unidentified Background Voice: Blue Ridge Trail Yi Doush!

Phipps: Blue Ridge Trail Yi Doush Golf Course, it’s a golf course operator.

911: Blue Ridge Trail Yi Doush Golf Course?

Phipps: That’s right operator.

911: OK, Sir and you said the nature of your emergency is a six foot putt?  Sir, that is not an emergency.  Sir, you need to hang up and strap a set on do you understand me?

Unidentified Background Voice: Hang up the phone and putt yi doush.

Memorial Day Tribute

This Memorial Day, please take a moment to remember those who are no longer participate in the Stoker.  Sure it’s easy to remember that Lou “Squirrel” Petito hasn’t played in the Stoker in ten years but what about Art Repke?  Seriously, who the hell is Art Repke?  What about Matt Malloy?  Did Pop-Pop have one too many that year and just throw their scorecards into the hat after picking them up off the ground?  Did Jimmy Shan do his famous “oops I forgot to throw my scorecard into the hat, here is Art Repke’s?”  If someone can draw me a flow chart explaining how these two gents got in the Stoker, it would be greatly apprecited.   

Vintiadis Pays Tribute to World Champs

In a nod to the 2008 World Champions, Jason " Don't Call Me Jansen" Vintiadis named his new baby boy Charlie Polyvios Vintiadis after Charlie "Uncle Charlie" Manuel.  Said Jansen, "they're the world champions." As he paused to collect his thoughts he then added, "WORLD EFFING CHAMPIONS!  My Mets' stones go up into their stomach come September.  Reminds me of Wiley standing over a three footer to win the Lebber Cup.  Which reminds me, how come we haven't seen Wiley at a Stoker since that yippopotamus pushed that gimme into the woods?"  said Jansen.  Incidentally Polyvios is an old Shanahan name passed down from generation to generation.

Phipps Accused of Tipping Danny Kim’s Shots

In her recent book on A-Rod, Selena Roberts accuses A-Rod of tipping his own pitcher’s pitches in exhange for reciprocation at the plate.  Now comes the ugly allegation by Danny Kim that Phipps has been tipping his shanks during the Lebber Cup.  Specifically, Kim accused Phipps of sighing and shaking his head and saying “Oh Christ, here we go again” during twelve of Kim’s 46 approach shots during last year’s Lebber Cup. No word on how this will be addressed at this year's Lebber Cup but we do know that Phipps will have plenty, plenty of opportunities to make similar comments this year.

So Easy A Flop Can Do It

Geico recently upgraded its ad campaign to have a Stoker flare with the summer months now upon us.  The initial spot has Willy Lop changing a lightbulb while standing on a ladder with Danny Kim and Phipps twisting the ladder clockwise.  A voiceover then says “Geico, so easy a flopazinski can do it.”

Next Week’s Headlines

Lennon Downgraded to Bicurious

Channy on DL (60 Day) – No stones

THE END